Intoxication

The time of Delilah

I hear her twinkly laugh bounce of the walls in the morning. She was on the phone with her mother, catching up on much needed bonding. The water was boiling and ready to be served. I brought our cups of coffee to our room. There she was. My life.

To not stare at her was such a task. She was flawless. She rolled onto her side with the phone tucked between her shoulder and her ear. Her glittering brown eyes looked at me as he lips parted into a mischievous grin. I set our cups on the nightstand and let my body naturally gravitate towards her.

Her fingers naturally ran through my mess of hair. She outlined my face with her fingertips and for that second I felt like fragile art being caressed and being admired. “Hows your mother?” I asked her as I wrapped her into my body.  “She misses us both, can’t wait to see us back once we are done with the honeymoon.”

I kissed her softly. She tasted so sweet and her lips were soft and plump. I kissed her more passionately as I felt her delicious curves under my fingertips. I was intoxicated with her. Everything about her, Delilah, she was summer and spring, fall and winter, she was all. “Mmm, have I told you I love you?”

She chuckled as she sunk further into me, “Hmm, I don’t know, I think I might have heard you say it once or twice. I can’t be certain.” She mused jokingly. She had me eternally smiling with her antics. “Well, just in case you didn’t catch it before, I love you Delilah.”

The Kiss of Death

November:

I had taken up a hobby. I had kept walking the streets at night, late night. It was currently 2 am and I had just reached the 50’s diner that was semi secluded. It usually was empty at times like these, but today… there he was.

I know she saw me. I know I captivated her stare. Her honey glazed eyes kept watching me, watching every move I made. She shivered as the waitress handed her coffee. She sipped it like it was the only source of life. Then she stared straight at me and my body tensed. Today I would finally take her.

I froze, he was actually walking towards me. I squirmed in my seat, I couldn’t run,  I was caught like a deer in headlights. He took the seat in front of me. He sighed then he smirked and finally he just observed me. “Hows the coffee treating you?” he asked as I played with my cup in between my hands. “Its black and delicious.”

Of course she drank her coffee black, I can imagine her saying that her soul was just as dark. “I’m Troy by the way” I said as I extended my hand towards hers. “Emma, it’s nice to finally put a name to your face.” She joked kindheartedly. Her skin was so soft and her hand so delicate. For a minute I thought I’d melted onto the floor the way her touch burned into me. “Emma, such a lovely name. So are you always wandering around here at 2 am?” “Thanks, and yea I always am, then again I could say the same to you.” She smirked at me.

He was something different, something much more than I could pin point. He was suave, yes, he felt like trouble. “Well, can I accompany you on your walk back to never land?” “Sure, but you can’t stalk me after that.” He chuckled at my comment and we walked out into the chilly night. I shivered as I felt the warmth of the diner leave my body. Troy wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I looked up at him as he looked at me. We were close, this is where I said good bye.

“Thank you for the company, I’ll see you around Troy.” I let her unwrap herself from my hold, but I just couldn’t let her go. I pulled her against me and I touched her rosy cheek. I couldn’t stop falling into her honey glazed eyes. What did she hide? “Is this how it will be? Pretending we are strangers? Pretending that I don’t already know you?” she stiffened in my arms. “Troy… I can’t remember. All I know is that you belong in my life but not so closely, its for your own safety.” She sighed frustrated with herself. “I don’t care, tonight you are mine and the next day after that and everyday after.” So I kissed her.

I felt his delicious lips against mine but just as quickly as he came was as quickly as it all ended. I opened my eyes to see his ashes floating off my hands. Just like that Troy was dust and I came to reality, this was my path, this was my burden to carry. Troy was gone because of me.

Kiss Me…

“What do you want me to do?” He held my face between his hands and stared at me intently. He was frustrated with me and I could feel the wave of stress rolling off his body. What did I want?

” I want you. All of you. Just you.” She whispered to me as the tears started to form in her eyes. I let out  a big sigh of relief. The past couple of weeks had been a rollercoaster of emotions and a lot of that affected us.

“You have me. I’m all yours. Forever and always.” He pulled me to him. His lips gently kissed mine and his hands wrapped around my waist. I let my body relax under his touch. This is all I ever needed. All I ever wanted was him and I had him. Just the knowledge of it made my heart melt.

“Forever and always then..” she smiled. I kissed her more until I could feel her lips become more plump from my rough passion. She was the one. Its not everyday you come across the woman you want to be with forever. Especially not always. She was it. She was all. She was mine.

Shattered

Love me like you do

I had sat at the exact same bench we sat about 5 years ago. This time I was alone with my thoughts instead of your stupid remarks. I looked up at the sky, sunny and blue and the hazy clouds making it all feel like spring. I remember the one time we spotted a bunny shaped cloud and of course you pointed out another cloud and called it pervy.

About 5 years ago I had spent a lifetime falling in love with you. With the way you called my name as you poked your head into our bedroom. The way you always pulled me tightly into you as our song came on. How you used to stare at me when it got quiet. How your eyes could see right through me even when I was trying to keep you out.

About 5 years ago I remember soaring the skies with you. I remember kissing you slowly in the rain. I remember your hands outlining my hips. I remember how your name I whispered. We lived in our own little bubble of love and nothing could penetrate it.

About  5 years ago you promised to love me forever and always. You slipped a ring on my finger and called me yours. I bought a white dress that made me feel like a princess and you made sure all my dreams came true. The stage was set to declare our love in front of them all.

About 5 years ago, the day was so close. We had come so close. About 5 years ago I received a call in the middle of the final fitting. About 5 years ago I’ve never ran so fast out of a store and driven like I was a in a race. About 5 years ago I arrived to an empty bed, to an empty room, to an empty house. About 5 years ago, your smile, your laughter, your beautiful self was gone.

About 5 years ago, I told you I love you.

Just Me

The hunger for a sense of thrill keeps me attached to him by the hip

They called me addicted. They named me obsessed. They labeled me a muse. Any sort of name you could have known was thrown at me for loving him. All of it in the end didn’t phase me. I always get what I want.

He didn’t know at all. He couldn’t sense. He never saw it coming. Bloody hell, I didn’t even see it coming. Not from me. Before him I was “normal”. I was just some college graduate trying to make it big in the big city. I wanted my name to headline the shows.

He’d found me working at a 50s diner one rainy night. I was done with my shift and I reached for my coat and started walking out but before I could leave the big boss asked me to fill for our sick artist. I hadn’t sang in front of a crowd. But there I went. I sang.

I saw his eyes lock onto me. I saw his lips curl into a crooked smile. The big bad wolf found his little red riding hood.  “Where have you been all my life doll?” He rasped behind me. I giggled and he offered me his hand, “I’m James Navarro.” The rest was history.

They called me pathetic. They named me a cat lady. They labeled me trash. James was the eye of the hurricane. He lifted me into stardom so quickly I didn’t even see where it all went wrong and after the whir land had gripped me I fell right out. I was just an echo now of Lola Chantal. I had fallen all the way down to being just me.

Empty Words

I think I loved to be lost in the fear of loneliness

It was always an empty feeling being cradled in her arms. It was like wearing a size to small in shirts. I felt suffocated and all at the same time I felt invisible. She would host the most glamorous dinner parties, she always said it was to be around family more, but we all knew the unspoken truth. She lived for the chance to showcase her perfect lifestyle.

At times I’d sit there and ponder the thought of leaving all of my riches and being a stray along with the city cats. I wonder if she would even care if I packed up a case and left. Would she miss me? I could see her looking at me from across the hall and she’d smile and blow me a kiss. Moments like that I’d think she possibly could love me for me. Not for what I could give her.

Then like a flash of lightning she crossed my sight. Black hair as dark as the night, her wild curls made her seem exotic and her cherry red lips would cause a scandal in any mans mind. When she turned to wave goodbye to a friend and her eyes caught mine time stood still. Auburn eyes staring right at me. Her mouth curved into a polite smile and she tipped her head in my direction and then she turned on her heel and disappeared.

My feet moved across the floor and I practically ran towards the door. I flung it open in my hurry to catch up to this majestic woman who I swear was a figment of my imagination. I spotted her. She was waiting for the valet. She had a cigarette between her luscious lips. She turned as she heard my arrival. “I’m sorry miss…?” “Elena. But you can just call me Lena.” She extended her hand towards me.

The contact with her skin sent me into a frenzy. The softest delicate hand in mine wouldn’t stop the thoughts of wonderment about the rest of her skin in unseen places. “Leaving us so soon Lena?” “I’m sorry but I live closer to the city and I don’t want to drive to late into the night.” She smiled at me. “Oh, I see. Well I tend to spend most of my time in the city, may I invite you for lunch tomorrow?” Her eyes widened and she giggled slightly probably amused with my forwardness. “Okay. give me a call Mr. Jones. I’d enjoy your company.”

She wrote her number on a napkin and I slipped it into my pocket. “Is there a particular reason why you’d like my company?” she asked quietly. “To be sincere, just your beauty has me captured. My curiousity of seeing if your personality matches such beauty makes me be so forward.” I could see the shock in her face. She nodded but said nothing more. Her car came and I walked her to the drivers side. She looked up at me and smiled. ” Well, see you soon Mr. Jones.” She purred out as she reached up to kiss my cheek.

Elena, even her name was enough to cause me shivers. I walked back to the fake dinner party and remembered I had a wife. I started to look for her. I walked towards the hallway getting closer to one of the guest bedrooms. I heard it first. The moaning, the pants the heavy breathing. Curiousity killed the cat. I opened the door and there she was bent over the bed. They jumped apart and he scrambled to pull his pants on and she tried fixing her dress. “Andrew, I can explain.” She stammered. “No you can’t. I will have divorce papers in the morning.” I turned and walked away. She never loved me. I think I never loved her either.

The Proposal

Love has a funny way of finding us at the right time

Watching her sleep was my favorite pass time. The way she crinkled her nose when she dreamed something whimsical. The way she unconsciously smiled. The best part was when she sighed and in her sigh she said my name. My heart would soar when her sweet melodious voice would speak in the stillness of the morning.

I knew he would be up early. I always caught him staring at me in wonder. I don’t know why he would do so. I don’t know when and how he fell head over heels in love with me. I wasn’t an open book and yet he never pushed me for more of me. He let me give him what I could and more when the time was right.

“Good morning love…mmm how’d you sleep?” She’d say dreamily. I’d smile and pull her body into mine and I’d kiss the tip of her button nose and then kiss he plump lips. I couldn’t get enough. She was my true addiction. The way she kissed me, so sweetly.

The first thing he would do was kiss me. No matter what, our mornings weren’t started without sharing kisses, heated ones for that matter. I was loved by an insanely great man and I was just confused on how he ended up with me. I had lived my shares of heartache and he came and started tending to my wounds selflessly.

I knew she was doubtful. I knew she didn’t know how to love with the intensity she had in her earlier misadventures. I would teach her. I would love her deeply. I would let her be her without questioning. I would keep her safe. I would do anything for her and she knew it. I guess I could see why she always told me I seemed to good to be true.

I stretched and wiggled into him and he let out a tortured groan. I would giggle knowing the what I had caused him. He let out a growl and I felt his hands grab my hips and pull me even more into him as he kissed my exposed neck. “Why must you torture me so?” He slightly chuckled. I laughed feeling very amused at my mischievous manner.

Today was the day. There was no moment more serene and perfect than now. No matter what she would be mine forever. We’d grow old together. We’d build a home, have some kids, get a dog. I’d make sure she would have all that she did not receive before. “Hey babe..?” I felt her turn around in my arms and look at me with her soft brown eyes, “Yea?” “I love you.”

I smiled. My insides turned to mush. “I love you too love.” I said as I kissed him. I felt him grab something from behind him. He looked deep into my eyes and I saw it all. I saw his profound love, his kindness, his wonder, everything said without actual words. He took a deep breath, and I instinctively tensed. “I want you forever…marry me please.” He said and lifted a little red box with a ring inside.

Her eyes went wide. She let out a breath she had held the moment I had asked my question. She looked at me and then at the ring, her eyes teared up and she smiled at me. She was speechless. She kissed me and she uttered the words that would change our lives forever, “Yes, a thousand times yes!” She said happily. I took the ring and slid it down her finger. She would be mine forever.